As Ebenezer Jimenez slithered into his office he noted the calendar had been turned to December by the Grinch Winchester. Ebenezer Jimenez hated the Holiday season especially after Santa had placed him on the Naughty list and a Federal judge agreed that he sexual harassed Felicia Bray.
Ebenezer Jimenez sat in his big office all alone as two of his most trusted associates had bailed out on him the Burgermiester Albetta was abusing his new staff at his Bronx high school and Brian Bradley was siding up the superintendent of District 4 who spent more time at Bradley’s school then any other school in District 4. Depressed Jimenez called in the Grinch Winchester.
The Grinch Winchester ran into his office screeching Yeeessss Ebenezer! Ebenezer holding his ears asked the Grinch where is this years Christmas party going to be held. The Grinch replied, I don’t know, I thought we just have Hawaiian Punch and Chocolate cake in the library. In his head Ebenzer Jimenez played out the scenario of a Christmas party in the library. ” I’ll send the Grinch to Costco with the P-card and she could buy the Hawaiian Punch, Chocolate Cake and the Rolex watch I’ve been eyeing.” Suddenly Jimenez was awoken out of his fantasy by the sound of young female voice calling him, Ebenezer Jimenez, Ebenezer Jimenez.
When Ebenezer Jimenez opened his eyes he saw the outline of woman standing in front of him. His hips began to gyrate and the words Hubba Hubba began to form on his lips when suddenly he was smack across the face with the naughty list. Ebenezer Jimenez suddenly sat up straight when he noticed that the woman in front of wore a detective badge he turned to look behind him. Suddenly the booming voice of Santa filled the room, ” Its that time of the year Ebenezer Jimenez we are going to look over the naughty list.” At that point Ebenezer Jimenez began panting and gyrating his hips. This time Santa slapped him in his balding head and stated to the detective in front of him some things never changed. At that point the Detective handed Ebenezer Jimenez her card. Ebenezer Jimenez glanced at the card and noticed the bold type that stated Special Victims Unit. Ebenezer Jimenez quickly turned to Santa and said what’s the meaning of this. Santa stated simply let’s look at the naughty list. This time Ebenezer Jimenez sat perfectly still. Shocked Santa looked at the Detective and wondered what mystic powers she had.
Santa then began to read off the naughty list. Ebenezer Jimenez your behavior towards women has cost New York City $250,000. Santa looked at Ebenezer Jimenez and said what do you have to say for yourself. Ebenezer Jimenez looked at Santa with a blank stare and stated I plea the 18th Amendment. Both Santa and the Detective looked puzzled. Suddenly, the screeching voice the Grinch Winchester shouted Oompa Loompa Hernandez get in here you know about the constitutional stuff. Oompa Loompa Hernandez had his ear pressed up against the door when the Grinch Winchester opened it causing Oompa Loompa Hernandez to hit the floor with a loud thud. Oompa Loompa Hernandez stated I believe Ebenezer meant to plea the 13th Amendment. Santa looked at the three of them and stated, I can’t believe the stupidity I’m hearing. Santa look at Ebenezer Jimenez and said how are you the principal of high school. I was born in the North Pole and I know that the 18th Amendment is for prohibition and the 13th Amendment ended slavery. At that moment the Grinch Winchester shouted Ebenezer was a slave to alcohol when those incidents happened. Stunned Santa looked at her and stated, maybe you should get on you bicycle and ride into heavy on coming traffic twice.
Now, Ebenezer Jimenez, Santa yelled in a booming voice. You have wasted enough time Did you not cost the city taxpayers $250,000. Ebenezer Jimenez bowed his head and said yes. Santa said, did you not make the headlines of the New York Post twice for Sexual harassment. Yes, said Jimenez. Finally, Santa said, the Detective here would like to ask you a question. Ebenezer Jimenez replied okay. The Detective turned to Ebenezer Jimenez and said would you like to explain your actions at that Hookah bar in Washington Heights. Ebenezer Jimenez began to Gyrate his hips when the Detective stated keep that up and you’ll be the belle of the ball at the Rikers island Christmas party.