Elf on a Shelf

elfspyAs Santa looked over the naughty list he noted that Manhattan Center for Science and Math principal Ebenezer Jimenez was trying desperately to keep an eye on those staff memebers who have reported him to Santa Claus in the past.

Santa noticed Jimenez had used the P-card on a huge order of Elf on a Shelf dolls to help him with this task.

Trying to justify this purchased to the staff,  Jimenez told staff members that he purchased the dolls to improve the christmas spirit at the school.

Upon the arrival of the dolls Santa had noticed that  assistant principals Grinch Winchester,  Burgermiester Albetta and Ommpa Loompa Hernandez strategically placed them throughout Manhattan Center.

One afternoon Santa snuck into Manhattan Center by using one of the many uncovered exit doors. Walking past Jimenez’s office he heard the cackling of Jimenez and his band of Misfits.

Making his way around the building Santa ran into a staff member walking down the hall.  The staff member shouted with glee when they saw Santa. Santa quickly quieted the female staff member and asked about the Elf on a Shelf dolls.

Santa, started the female staff member, “I am extremely uncomfortable with the Elf on a Shelf that the administration had placed in the staff bathroom.” She noted to Santa  that every time she went to the bathroom the Elf would responsed with Hubba Hubba.

Suddenly another a male staff member appeared and had overheard the conversation. Santa looked at him and said what would you like to report. The staff member stated, “that he felt as if the Elf on a Shelf followed his every move.” Santa told the staff member, “I think you’re being a little para.” Suddenly in mid sentence Santa stopped and  thought about who they were discussing. Santa thought to himself Jimenez is the king of paranoia. I’ll have to check those dolls out myself.

As Santa slowly made his way down they hall he was startled to see Brian Bradley loading books onto a cart. Santa screamed, “Brian! What are you doing here. I thought I gave you the present you always wanted, to be a principal in your own school.” Bradley ushered Santa into the instructional support office and locked the door and said, Santa, “I heard about Jimenez using the Elf on a shelf to spy on his staff, so I had to see it for myself.” Santa asked Bradley, “so what do you think about Jimenez’s plan to subvert the naughty list. Suddenly, out from behind a book Santa heard the phrase Hubba Hubba. Suddenly, Santa sprang  into action knocking the book over and retrieving the Elf on a Shelf that stood behind. As Bradley cowered in a corner, Santa walked over to him and slapped him across the face and doing his best Marlon Brando impersonation. Santa shouted “You can act like a man.”

Santa then turned his attention to the Elf on a shelf and raised it to his face. As the eyes twitched back and forth Santa shouted, “You’re never going to get of the naughty list Ebenezer!!!” Suddenly the Elf on a shelf began gyrating it hips and shouting Hubba Hubba. Slamming it to the ground Santa made his way to Jimenez’s office. Outside the office door stood the Grinch Winchester, The Burgermiester Albetta and Ommpa Loompa  Hernandez Santa looked at them and said get out of my way or its permanent naughty list for you. Suddenly, from behind the closed door came the words Hubba Hubba. Santa kicked open the door and was greeted by a strange sight. It was Jimenez dressed like an Elf on a shelf. Seeing this Santa summoned his Elves who immediately tackled Jimenez and placed him in a special green elf’s jacket. With his hands safety behind Santa walked over to Jimenez and said you have tortured your staff enough and for that you will be exile to the naughty list for life. Suddenly, Jimenez began gyrating his hips and shouting Hubba Hubba.


Enjoy these Christmas classics



4 thoughts on “Elf on a Shelf

  1. I recently read your blog even though Mr. Jimenez had some choice words about you. I am a female teacher in the school and after reading your blog and attending this year’s christmas party I am truly thinking about leaving this school. I have watched Mr.Jimenez and noticed that he is extremely paranoia about the older teachers in the building. While Mr. Jimenez’s behavior is strange it pales in comparison to that of Mr. Albetta. During this year’s christmas party Mr.Albetta was hitting on all the young teachers. In all honesty he looks at this school as his own version of the Dating Game. On many occasions Mr. Albetta has asked me to go out drinking with him and Mr.Hernandez. I often make excuses for not going, but I find it extremely uncomfortable.

  2. Sexual harassment is against the law. Principals and Assistant Principals cannot ask you to drink alcohol, attend parties or date. Report your administration to SCI, to OSI, to OEO and then report your administration to the Chancellor. Contact the National Organization of Women and the ACLU. You should not live in fear for your employment.

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